In Which I Travel to New Zealand!
Before embarking on such an epic journey, there were a certain number of preparations that I needed to make. The best way to do this, I figured, was to make a list. Rather, many lists.
How to Travel to a Distant Country:
1) Book plane tickets
2) Wait. Get excited. Make a list.
3) Lay out clothes.
4) Find a suitcase.
5) Realize that you’re going to need a bigger suitcase. Panic.
6) Find bigger suitcase. Pack.
7) Get excited.
8) Go to airport. Remember giant suitcase.
9) Pick up tickets, check bags.
10) Go through security.*
11) Panic. Chew gum.
12) Board plane.
13) Watch how-to-survive-a-crash video.
14) Consider the chances of a crash.
15) Panic. Chew gum.
16) Fly!^
17) Land.^ ^ Sometimes, repeat.
18) Arrive in Distant Country!
*Security: in which they check your belts and shoes for drugs and/or explosive items. Laptop bags are especially suspect.
During the transition period between flights, it is important to keep some things in mind. For example, when traveling to the other side of the world, it is not uncommon to have a layover. Most times, this layover gives you just enough time to arrive at your next gate. In special cases, you get some free time. In my case, I had roughly 10 hours. These ten hours were spent experiencing the area around the airport; namely, Los Angeles. I learned a few things.
How to Catch a Taxi Cab (in LA):
1) Cross the street repeatedly.
2) Locate a vehicle sporting the “taxi” sign.
3) Realize you are standing by the bus stop.
4) Panic slightly.
5) Get directions from the guy in charge of taxi traffic to a free shuttle that takes you where you need to go.
6) Realize that there are misconceptions about Los Angeles-ians. They are actually very friendly.
7) Eat and be merry!
How to Find the Ocean (in LA), Without Taking a Cab:
1) Walk towards the wind.
2) Keep walking.
3) Stop and ask for directions.*
4) Proceed to follow directions.
5) Get lost.
6) Ask someone else for directions.
7) ARRIVE.**
8) Take pictures.
9) Frolic in surf.
10) Trudge back to airport.
*Do not follow directions that are shouted at you while you are standing on a bridge with four lanes of traffic between you.
**The time between following second set of directions and arriving at destination may vary, but often takes twice as long as it should have.
How to Survive a 13-Hour Plane Ride:
1) Sleep.
1) Stay awake.
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